Monday, January 26, 2009


I want to get this down before I forget.

Mexico was AWESOME

We went to Mazatlan for One week-and while it was a fucking hassle to get to. It was sooooo worth it.

Here was our agenda. Is it sad I remember the days by what meals we ate?

Left Kennedy for Houston. Turbulenceeeeee. Arrived after four hours, and got escorted around the city by my father's police friend Lyn. It...was well....Houston isn't much of a tourist place. It has the space center, and that's it. (We didn't even get to go). We had "Texas Bar-B-Que" and the BEST PECAN PIE EVER. We stayed at the Hampton Inn, and I got to listen to my sister gush on the phone to Joe for a bit. We acted like little kids (ice fights-hmm?) and got some sleep.

Left Houston. Two Hours on a smalll plane. Landed in Mexico. Got picked up by one of my parent's friend and got dropped off at Pueblo Bonito Emerald Bay. The Hotel was GORGEOUS. It was a bit rainy outside, and somewhat cool (Though nothing compared to New York. I would take "cold" Mexican Weather (68 degrees) ANY day of the year). Got a tour and went to our room. Same and I shared the couch bed-but for now I took a nap on the Veranda. Ate on Premises for Dinner. Surf and Turf and a really fun Appitizer boufet, and dessert boufet. ALso-discovered that I liked the 18 year old drinking age of mexico 8).

Still a bit rainy. Hung by the pool, went swimming, painted some cermaics and went to the Gym with my sister to work with a personel trainer. Napped and than went to the City for Dinner at a Resturaunt called Angelo's (Yes. Italian food in Mexico. Go Figure). BEST MUSHROOM SOUP EVER. They served in a bread bowl and everything. Also got to try spanish coffee, which is brandy(with most of the alcohol burned off), coffee, and vanilla ice cream. I liked it a lot-and we got some fun "mustache" pictures.

Sunny! What did we do? Zip-lining through the Jungle yo! IT was at place called Huana Coa, and it was super fun-even if I did get stuck a couple times before they put "training wheels" on me. I still want to do it again though, cause it was awesommmeeee. I wasn't even afraid of the heights :) After playing Tarzan, we went to a Tequilla Factory and saw how it was made. I had my first shot ever (Lick, sip, suck) and than we went back to the hotel. We ate dinner at El Capitanos, and we saw my father on TV because he donated Vests for the Police there. It was super fun.

We went on a city tour today. We saw the cliff divers, the Cathedrial (Super pretty), and we went shopping at the market. We had lunch, saw the opera house, and so much more. I got to test out my bargaining skills (Super awesome), and we were introduced to Olas Atlas.


Not only was the food amazing, but the family who runs it was super, super nice. We ended up meeting them three more times-and I swear it feels like I have known them my whole entire life. Kenn is an AMAZING chef, and I can't wait for them to come up to New York.
They even showed us this AMAZING massage place, which gave me the best massage I have ever had-for twenty dollars an Hour. Sick right? So much fun.

Breakfast at Olas Atlas<3 with the Police Secratery (Dad again :P) where my sister got one of the waiters to escort us to clubs later that night xD. My parents and sister went horseback riding and I went to the gym again (oh boy). Later that Night we went to Senor Peppers (eh) and than Sam, Marco, and I went to Joe's Oyster club and Bora Bora. We saw a fire spitter, drank, and had a whollllle lot of fun :). Came back at 2 am. Haha. whooopsss

Another Lounge day. Sam Got her tan, I got a burn, and my Dad decided to disguise himself as a lobster. We got another massage, hung out at Olas Atlas again and had a fun relaxing day. I realized I had to go back to school soon and was very sad.

Flew from Mazatlan to Houston. HOLY HELL. We had a police officer escort us from plane to gate( My darling Father yet again) and got through security and customs in THIRTY MINUTES. Plus we got a cart ride :P. It was pretty sweet. Next came the flight back to New York, trudging through snow, and than back to Home-and Bed. School the next day-where Mexico was but a dream.

I can't wait to go back.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Something happened yesterday that shook me to the core. I need to talk about it, do something about it, scream about it, I don't know. Don't know how I should act or feel. I've gone numb, I've gone Cliche. I don't know. I just don't fucking know.

A girl from my school killed herself yesterday. She was Junior, 16 years old. Was bright, sweet, a great writer and had such a future laid out for her. Sure she had her faults, we all do, but it is hard to remember them now. Hard to think she threw herself in front of a train to escape...something.

I have never known anyone my age who died. Either by accident or on purpose. It is a blow, right to the gut. Its kinda horrible, because I wish it was just someone who "I went to school with" maybe saw in the halls every once in a while. So the shock could pass and I could just let it go. Someone my age killed themselves. Shit, ain't that sad. I hope her friends are alright, I guess I should offer condolences and such. It is horrible to wish that, I know. But I do. I do.

I knew her though. We had gotten close her first year in school. I showed her some of my writing, and she showed me some of hers. I met her dog, her mom drove me home from drama, we laughed and she lent me a favorite book of hers. I gave her one of mine. She lost it. I was supposed to give her a mix CD. I don't know if I remembered to or not. I think I did-but I don't know. I don't know. Stupid memories keep popping up. Two years ago. She reviewed two of my stories, said they were good. She wrote a one act about a boy who died and a drug addiction. It was amazing. I was jealous of it, but I gave her tips. I wonder where it is now. I wonder why the only times I had spoken to her was to say hi, or to ask about the seventeen dollars she owed me. I wonder if she realized I was joking. Or half joking.

I'm mad.
At people for talking shit about her, for blowing things out of proportion and for making me think twice about being friends with her.
I am mad at myself for letting myself be swayed, that I didn't try to be friends with her again, that I didn't care enough. I'm mad at hindsight.
I am also mad at her. Shes such a fucking idiot. Didn't she realize how many people loved her? The talent she had? The potential? The light? God damn it. Didn't she realize it was final? Yes her parents were fucking crazy, but she only had two more years in college and friend's houses to escape too. She is such an idiot. Such a fucking idiot. God damn it! I don't know. I still haven't gotten my head around the whole "gone" concept. No more coming back. She didn't just leave for another school again. She is gone.

I don't deal well with emotion. I never have. I don't cry in public, and I often feeel detached an awkward. But hell? who doesn't. I also keep what ifing myself to death. I know it is no use, and I am trying to stop. But there it is:
What if
What if
What if

And I don't know. Don't know.
Life was so much nicer two days ago. Hopefully it will get better again. it always does. This too Shall pass. It is a pity she didn't see it.

R.I.P LS. You will be sorely missed, by more people than you know. I'm getting "The Perks of being a Wall Flower." and I am sending it around in your memory. So people can love it as you did.

Next post will be about happier times I hope. I was in mexico last week, I'll write about it when I feel better.
So yeah.